


Expert Tips

by storiesfortravellers



Category: White Collar
Genre: Consent Issues, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Time, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Mild Kink, Mind Games, Multi, Relationship Negotiation, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-12 23:35:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5685928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter and Neal have to pretend to be married for a case. El thinks this is a great idea.</p><p>I.e., the one where El and Neal decide that Peter should really try a threesome.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Expert Tips

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lise (thissugarcane)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thissugarcane/gifts).



> For Lise - thanks for the really fun prompts! The fake relationship one spoke to me, clearly - hope you like!

“You seem bothered by this, Peter,” Neal said, teasing, as the two men walked into the kitchen where El was sipping a glass of wine.

“I’m not bothered, I’m just – well, you have to admit it’s kind of…” Peter said.

“Kind of what?” Neal said with a smirk.

“It’s going to be awkward, don’t you think?” Peter said, pulling two beers out of the fridge and handing one to Neal.

“What is?” El said. She could already tell this was going to be amusing.

Peter sighed. 

“Our mark made an assumption.”

“They’re not ‘marks.’ Con artists have marks,” Peter said, “They’re targets of our investigation.”

El asked, “And what did these marks assume?”

“That Peter and I are a married couple,” Neal said with a grin.

El giggled. “Now, how would anyone ever come to that conclusion?”

“I know!” Peter said, before realizing El was being sarcastic.

“This could be good for you, Peter,” she said. “Neal’s an expert con and you can use this as an opportunity to develop your undercover skills.”

“Am I the only one who thinks this has the potential to go wrong? What if we start arguing or something?” Peter says.

“Then we’ll be like most married couples,” Neal said, “Present company excluded of course.”

“This sounds like it’s going to be ridiculous,” Peter grumbled.

El smiled, just a little predatory. “Which is exactly why I’m going to want details about how it goes. All the details.”

\--

Neal and El were sharing a piece of cake on the Burke’s couch, as Neal told El all about the day spent at the couples retreat pretending to be married to Peter.

“And I’m sure you were the consummate professional and never did anything at all just to mess with Peter’s head,” El said mockingly, eating a bite of cake off her fork.

Neal looked a bit sheepish. “Well, there was the point where I said, ‘You would not believe the things my husband is into. He just loves putting me in cuffs.’”

El guffawed loudly. “That’s amazing. What did Peter do?”

“Seriously, I think he almost lost it,” Neal said, “But he covered. He actually covered well. And he smiled – like that super tense smile he has when he’s not happy at all--” El nodded in recognition – “And then he said, ‘Only when he deserves it.’”

El laughed hysterically. “Oh, I wish I could have seen that.” 

Neal laughed, “It was pretty great.”

El added, a tad more serious, “Notice that even when you’re undercover as a couple, you two bicker over the same things. About how crime doesn’t pay, etc., etc.”

Neal shrugged. “I consider it more like a healthy debate.” He took a bite of cake and then offered her the last bite.

She picked it up with her hands and ate it, licking the frosting off her fingers. “Of course you do.”

“We’re at the retreat all day tomorrow too. I’ll try to come up with something that will drive Peter crazy and entertain both of us,” Neal said.

“Hmm. If you really want to mess with Peter, I can give you some tips that only his real spouse would know. You know, to keep it believable. For the sake of the case.” She gave Neal a little wink. 

Neal raised an eyebrow. “Yes. I’d be happy for any help. The case is very, very important.” 

\--

Peter and Neal were sitting at a table with John and Rita Campbell, the two main suspects in their case, chatting over lunch. Peter and Rita started talking baseball, since they were both fans.

Peter tensed suddenly as Neal started gently running his fingers through the hair on the back of Peter’s head.

Still, Peter kept his composure, and kept talking stats.

Neal ran his hand just slightly down to give a slight squeeze to the back of Peter’s neck, gently, halfway between a caress and a light massage. Neal could tell that Peter almost squirmed, but he managed to maintain his cover, but just barely.

A good con knows when to back off – sometimes a pause makes the appeal of something even harder to resist – and so Neal put his hands back down and pretended to listen to them talk about the Yankees.

A few minutes later, Neal put his hand on Peter’s knee. 

Peter looked over, looking a little bewildered. “Everything okay?”

Neal smiled sweetly. “Of course, honey. It’s just nice to be at relaxing lunch with you. Nowhere to rush to. We should have done this years ago. It’s so good to get away.” He kept his hand on Peter’s thigh.

“Yes,” Peter said, his smile tight. “I can see how you might be in need of a long trip somewhere.”

“I know what you mean,” John said, oblivious to the veiled threat, “I wish Rita and I could go back to Bora Bora some time. We honeymooned there.”

“Really?” Neal said. “I’d love to hear about it.”

As Rita and John told them all about their travels, Neal kept his hand on Peter’s knee, Neal’s thumb traversing small, light circles on Peter’s inner thigh. He could see Peter struggle not to react, not to show that he was slowly becoming turned on. Eventually, Peter moved quickly and folded his legs, and Neal just smirked and moved his hand away.

When they were finally back in their hotel room, Peter asked, “What the hell was that?”

“I was playing a role.”

“There’s no way you could have known how to do that without El telling you.” 

“You didn’t like it? You could have stopped me by putting your hand on mine, by moving slightly away, in a million different ways.”

Peter stared. “It’s not… that I didn’t like it. It’s just… I was trying to concentrate on the mark. I mean the target. And suddenly I was thinking….”

“Other things?” Neal smirked lasciviously.

“I was wondering why my wife would tell my partner how to push my buttons,” Peter said.

“That’s a really good question. Why would she do that?” Neal said. He hadn’t intended to get this much into it, not yet at least. He was thinking that this night would end with Peter turned on and annoyed and Neal turned on and pleased to have gotten a little under Peter’s skin. A good con plays it step by step, never rushing forward out of eagerness.

But Neal had been waiting a really long time for this conversation. So if Peter really wanted to talk about it….

“Have you and El been… talking?” Peter said, looking worried.

“She might have mentioned that you and she have been talking about inviting me for a threesome for a while now.”

Neal paused, let the reveal rest for a minute. 

Peter sat on the bed. Finally, he said, “Not a threesome. I mean, not as a one-time thing. I’m not really into one-time things. But that’s why we need to be…careful.”

Neal nodded, tried not to take the wording personally. “El also said… that you’re …interested in me.”

Peter looked him in the eyes. “I care about you. You know that.”

“She says you feel more for me than friendship.”

“Yeah. I do. But you know it’s complicated, Neal.”

“She also says that the only reason you won’t try it is because you’re afraid you’d be abusing your power.”

Peter looked down. “You can’t deny that’s not a real concern.”

“You don’t trust me.”

Peter looked back up at Neal. “What do you mean?”

“You don’t trust me to tell you if you’re overstepping. But I would. Because I know you wouldn’t take it personally if told you no. I mean, I know my … track record with relationships… it isn’t great. But even if this all blows up, Peter, you’ll still be a good agent and I’ll still be a good CI and we have to trust that.”

Peter sighed. “What kind of person would I be, sleeping with the guy I’m supposed to rehabilitating.”

“We both know my steps toward rehabilitation are largely just a personal favor to you,” Neal said.

Peter started to object, but Neal added, “Which is an argument for another time. But Peter, I'm not some kid who can be manipulated by anyone who's in charge of me. I have always outsmarted anyone who tried to keep me around for the wrong reasons. I don't need your protection, not that way, not against you. And by the way, I know a lot about you and your cases and your office. If I really wanted to, I could plant evidence against you to destroy your career. I’m smart enough. But you’ve never been worried that I would do that, have you?”

“Of course not. I know you.”

“And I know you. We both have risked a lot for this partnership. And there's a reason for that.”

“I know,” Peter said. He was quiet for a long time. Then he asked, “And what happens if you go back to stealing? Or if you … run?” His voice caught, as if even the idea of it hurt.

Neal sat down on the bed next to him. “I’m not planning to run. And if I do anything, you’ll do your job and I won’t resent you one bit for it. Okay?”

Peter nodded. He seemed to have been hoping for a stronger guarantee.

Neal added, “And if you’re worried about me staying out of trouble, what better strategy than for you and El to keep me tied up on your bed and very occupied?”

Neal smirked for a second, and then added, “Peter, are you blushing?”

“No,” Peter said.

“Oh, Peter. All this time with my influence, and you’re still a terrible liar.”

Peter rolled his eyes.

“Seriously, Peter. I trust you. And now I need you to trust me. El and I both want this, and we think you do too. So… how about it?”

\--

Peter walked into his house Friday evening, with Neal following after. They had gathered enough evidence and gotten John and Rita to confess, and their team had just been praised by their superiors for a job well done.

El walked into the living room to see them and observed the small overnight suitcase Neal was holding.

“So is that a yes?” El asked them, eyebrow arched.

“That’s a yes,” Peter said. “We’ll give it a try.”

“Nice work, sweetie,” El said.

“Thank you,” Peter answered.

“I was talking to Neal, actually,” she said with a laugh, then leaned in toward Peter for a long kiss. 

El turned to Neal then and kissed him as well, soft but taking charge. 

Neal smiled.

“My turn,” Peter said with a smirk and kissed Neal too, hard, his hand sliding softly up Neal’s waist. They parted, but Peter kept his hand on Neal’s hip.

“Dinner’s almost ready in the kitchen,” El said to them.

Neal paused, touching his own kiss-wrecked lips. “I’m actually not that hungry right now. Maybe we can find something else to do first.”

El and Peter smiled at each other. “Then I guess dinner can wait.”


End file.
